Thank you to all who are reading along with the FBC leadership as we blog about a well written book titled "The Peacemaker" by Ken Sande. This week we're discussing chapter 5, and the author describes the typical progression of an idol in the human heart - helping the reader see where conflict originates.
I was particularly challenged by the part of the progression where we start to judge other people for not serving our idols. The author tells how it can be good and right to have expectations of other human beings. The problem comes with this quote from page 108, "But if we are not careful, these expectations can become conditions and standards we use to judge others. Instead of giving people room for independence, disagreement, or failure, we rigidly impose our expectations on them."

Some desires are good and there is nothing wrong with persuing them in a reasonable way. At times, even our good desires can face a roadblock and we feel wronged because, after all, it was a good desire. The right thing to do is to take it to the Lord and let Him work it out. But we too often try to handle it ourselves and it ends up in a conflict.
Another feeling we have is "I Demand It". The desire we have has now gone from simply a desire to an idol for us. I liked the x-ray questions for examining our heart to see if our desire has turned into a sinful demand.
Following the "I Demand" phase, usually comes the "I Judge You" phase. We judge others and condem them in our heart. It isn't wrong to evaluate others and their motives, but it is wrong to condem them (there is a fine line between the two).
After condeming someone, we want to hurt them in the "I Punish" phase. We can do this in many ways; what we say, what we do, withholding affection, acting sad, or even leaving a relationship just to name a few.
These phases have led us into a downward spiral and we need to get out of this sinful situation by taking it to the Lord. But, do we recognize that we are in this downward spiral? If we are truely walking with the Lord, He will show us that we are in that circumstance and also guide us out of it!!
"I Punish," pages 108 & 109. My idols do demand sacrifices from others to please me. Yes, I do withdraw from relationships in obvious and subtle ways mentioned here when others don't meet my expectations. Wouldn't it have been nice if I would have let the person know my expectations first, or not have placed expectations on them in the first place? Why do I punish others for things they don't even know they've done or not done? James 4:1-3 gives us a clear answer, we've let an idol rule our hearts.
I pray that I'll examine my expectations of others to determine if they are godly or my own.
I'm looking forward to more training in this area of my life!
It is amazing how quickly one can get in an Idolatrous situation. We need Gods help to get us out. We should be on guard, look and constantly view our hearts, because the heart is the source of our conflicts. It so important that we “ Replace Idol Worship with Worship of the True God”.