The four promises of forgiveness, as explained in chapter 10 of The Peacemaker, are gold nuggets out of the Peacemaker materials. It repeatedly exposes to me how hard it is to forgive in the same way God has forgiven us. I'm thankful that the author recorded his wife's simplification of those promises in her resource The Young Peacemaker. I really appreciate that simple poem for reminding myself and teaching others what it means to forgive.
Good thought (I will not dwell on the offense)
Hurt you not (I will not bring up the offense to use against you)
Gossip Never (I will not talk of this offense to others)
Friends forever (I will not allow this offense to stand between us)*
If God forgives us in this way, how could we do less?
"For You have cast all my sins behind Your back." Isaiah 38:17
*Reprinted or adapted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, Ken Sande (Baker Books, 3d ed., 2003). Peacemaker® Ministries. www.Peacemaker.net.
"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit"
Matthew 28:19 KJV
Matthew 28:19 KJV
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We are to forgive as God forgives. So, how does God forgive? God says in 1 John 1:9 that He will forgive our sins if we confess them to Him. The Psalmist says in Psalm 32:5 that he confessed his sins to God and God forgave his iniquity. And in Isaiah 43:25, God says that He will blot out our transgressions and not remember our sins. As a side note, God does not promise that WE will forget our sins. I wonder if that is so that we won't continue to make the same mistakes?
And we need God's help to truly forgive others. Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is an act of the will, a series of decisions. The decisions I must make are:
1) I will NOT dwell on the wrongful act.
2) I will NOT bring it up again and use it against you.
3) I will NOT talk to others about it.
4) I will NOT let it stand between us.
Can I do this? I can with Gods help. God's Word gives us the pattern for confession and forgiveness.
Then he talks about consequences on page 213. I read this just as I was having to deal with this situation with one of my kids who was not taking responsibiltiy for some damage he caused. I didn't handle it well on my own at first, but then realized that I just needed to point out how he had offended me and let him know that I was willing to forgive when he was ready to admit his reponsibility, apologize and make restitution. That worked much better.
Finally, I read the excerpt from Corrie Ten Boom. Wow, she had great strength to give her body to the Lord to control in that situation. I'd have wanted to string the guy up! Next time I feel like I deserve revenge for being wronged, I pray I can remember all Christ has forgiven me of and realize that I'm no better.
God is making me more aware daily of how far I have to go to be Christ like in the way I deal with conflict. Keep working Lord!