Hi leaders and blog readers,
I'm posting this weeks chapter from Louisville, Kentucky. I'm at a conference on the Gospel with my fellow pastor, and excited to be better equipped for ministry!
Chapter 9 of The Peacemaker starts to deal with the uncomfortable subject of, "What if the other person doesn't want to be reconciled?" I am so thankful for the clear guidance and instruction God gives in His word. The instruction regarding restoration, and even restorative discipline found in God's word can be particularly hard to understand when we haven't seen many 'successful' examples in real life. I pray God will give us the grace to demonstrate obedience to these concepts to our children (and theirs).
I was particularly struck by this statement on pg 194, "The intention in treating others as nonbelievers is not to injure them or punish them, but rather to help them see the seriousness of their sin and their need for repentance."* I believe this provides a winsome apologetic for why we must be faithful in obeying the Bible command, but it also is a great motive checker when the time comes to love a brother (or sister) this way.
*Reprinted or adapted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, Ken Sande (Baker Books, 3d ed., 2003). Peacemaker® Ministries. www.Peacemaker.net.
"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit"
Matthew 28:19 KJV
Matthew 28:19 KJV
Faith Baptist Blog
Calendar
|
September '10 |
|
||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Mo | Tu | We | Th | Fr | Sa | Su |
| Tuesday, September 07. 2010 | ||||||
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | ||
| 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
| 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 |
| 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 |
| 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | |||
Categories
Blog Administration
Before involving others in a conflict:
1) Examine how the conflict can be resolved in Private.
2) Approach the other person one-on-one to seek forgiveness or to show him his fault. It is also appropriate to seek Godly Wisdom from others.
3) If Private resolution fails, it is appropriate to ask one or two others to help thru mediation and arbitration. Don't pick your best bud for this as he may not be impartial. It is also wise to warn the other person about what you are going to do. Be sure to pick Spiritually mature helpers.
4) If the conflict still persists despite the efforts of others, Scripture tells us to "tell it to the Church". This does not mean to air it in a church service. It means to take it to the leaders of the Church to handle according to God's Word.
5) If the other person still persists in his sin, if he refuses to listen to Church counsel; treat him as a nonbeliever.
While God's Word instructs us to not take our conflicts to Civil Court, sometimes that is the last resort. Prior to that though, see if you would be comfortable with just letting the matter drop or if another form of resolution might work for the both of you.
The ultimate goal is for conflicts to be resolved and thru that, God to be Glorified!!!
However, I am also aware that not all conflict can be solved so easily and requires wise, spiritually mature individuals to come along side those caught up in the conflict and give sincere, honest, and biblical advice in order to assist in reconcilliation. This is what the majority of chapter 9 deals with.
First of all, admitting that we cannot solve all of our own problems and asking for help is a humbling and, for many, a scary thing to do. Involving others hurts our pride and our tendancy is to just go along with the status quo, grumbling and harboring biterness in our heart all the while.
It takes courage and faith to risk appropriately involving others. I think the advice found on page 189-190 to "make every effort not to give them (the reconciler) unnecessary details about the conflict" and to "simply explain that you and the other person are at odds and (that you) need their help" is sound advice and helps to protect us from the temptation of gossip. "Only when you and the other person are present should you give a detailed explanation of your perceptions."
The role of a reconciler is very important. They are to:
Help those involved make decisions to restore peace.
Facilitate communication by encouraging both sides to listen more carefully to each other.
Listen carefully themselves to bring clarty to both parties.
Encourage repentance and confession where it is needed.
*Be able to reference Scripture in its appropriate context and facilitate a biblical solution
Consequently, choosing the right person(s) to act as a reconciler is not something that should be done hastily but, rather with a good deal of thought and prayer. For choosing poorly here could easily make the entire situation much worse.
I feel that I'm getting too long, so I'll just end with this thought - my prayerful desire is that as we shift our thinking about how to handle conflict in our own lives, and put God's Word to the test on a daily basis, that we would not only be reconciled but would be prepared to be reconcilers, thereby spreadingthe peace of God to those around us.
Sincerely,
Frank Hannum